


Touch

by Markuse88



Series: Markuse88 Inktober 2019 [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, De-Serumed Steve Rogers, First Kiss, M/M, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Protective Bucky Barnes, Sick Steve Rogers, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-27 23:55:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21127367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Markuse88/pseuds/Markuse88
Summary: Bucky is living with Steve in the Tower after the later, Natasha and Sam find him living in Bucharest. Bucky's recovery is slow but steady but when an accident reverts Steve to his pre-serum body Bucky must juggle his own issues while making sure Steve stays alive.





	Touch

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the 2019 Inktober list. The prompt is Frail. This is self-edited so all mistakes are mine. Beta-read for content by the amazing Cowandcalf. I would love to hear your thoughts and I hope you enjoy. Also please feel free to offer suggestions for tags as I tend to come up blank.
> 
> This takes place after Captain America: The Winter Soldier and skews from there. We're just going to pretend everything after that didn't happen.

Bucky fought the urge to fidget and pace as he rode the elevator down to the medical floor. In the past fidgeting and pacing hadn’t been allowed. Any sort of restlessness had been punished. That _was_ the past of course. Now he was free to do anything he wanted. He _wanted_ to fidget but he wasn’t going to. If he started fidgeting he would start pacing and if he started pacing in his arm would start going. He didn’t need to worry about freaking out the medical staff when the door opened. Or worse piquing Stark’s eternal interest in the prosthetic.

“Jarvis, any update?” Bucky asked aloud as the floors flew by. The medical bay was located in the sub-basement of the tower. Given he and Steve lived a few dozen floors above it the trip was taking a minute. Thankfully the elevator was a private one, Avengers only, so there were no stops.

“I regret to inform you that I am not allowed to report anything more than the fact that Captain Rogers is alive, stable, and conscious Sargent Barnes.” The A.I responded quietly.

“If that's the case than why is it so damn important that I come to the medical bay, and on whose orders?” Bucky knew taking his frustrations out on Jarvis was pointless, and rude to boot, but it was well known he didn’t like the medical bay, nor was he a fan of enclosed spaces.

“Your questions will be answered momentarily Sargent.” Jarvis replied and Bucky had to resist the urge to punch the wall. If this was some kind of practical joke on Starks part he was going to dismantle the man, armor be damned. What could have possibly happened to Steve that required him to come to the medical floor? Between the serum and his suit he was practically indestructible.

As the last few floors flew by Bucky closed his eyes and ran through some of the deep breathing and calming exercises that Sam had been teaching him. He had been very skeptical at first but Sam wasn’t a trained councilor without reason. Overtime and with practice the exercises helped. At least in moments like this. His worse episodes of anxiety still tended to end up in mild to moderate property damage.

His “recovery” was a work in progress.

“I am sorry to interrupt you Sargent, but we have arrived at the medical floor.” Jarvis’ had obviously lowered his voice, likely to keep from startling him, and Bucky was grateful for it.

“I’m ready, thanks Jarvis. And hey, I’m sorry for being an asshole. I know you got your orders.” Bucky patted the elevator wall as he spoke. Even after living in the tower for six months there were still times where it was weird that Jarvis _was_ the tower.

“Apology accepted Sargent. I hope that the rest of your day is pleasant.” Jarvis replied as he opened the elevator doors.

The elevator opened right across from the nurses’ station. A small waiting room, currently empty, sat to the left while to the right was a short hallway that led to the patient rooms. Another hall, directly to the right of and leading behind the nurse’s station, led to the exam rooms, surgery bays and various other medical rooms and labs. Bucky had never been to them, thankfully, but Jarvis had been kind enough to provide him with blueprints and schematics once he moved in with Steve. Stark hadn’t been happy about that but Steve, and surprisingly Jarvis, had helped to make him understand that it made him feel better to know about his surroundings.

“Hello Sargent Barnes. Captain Rogers is just down the hall, sixth room on the left. Mr. Stark, Ms. Romanoff, and Doctor Banner are with him. Would you like an escort?” Li Mei, one of the nurses, asked and Bucky realized he was still standing just inside the elevator.

“That’s alright, I’ll find it I’m sure.” Bucky smiled as he stepped off the elevator. He had moments where acting like he was normal was easy. Li Mei just returned the smile and went back to her work.

Bucky walked through the empty hall as fast as he could without power-walking. The double doors opened automatically as he approached. There were twelve private rooms total, six on each side. They were spacious and painted in cool greens, blues, and yellows. Save for the communal and bathroom walls, each room had a private bathroom, they were glass walled. The glass could somehow turn opaque for privacy though, he’d been meaning to ask Jarvis how that worked as the windows in the Common Room did the same thing; the future really was cool.

All the rooms, save for Steve’s which he could see was lit up at the end of the hall, were currently dark and empty. The medical floor was largely used only by the Avengers in residence in the tower but were open to all the workers of the tower. Just like the Barbershop/Salon, one of the Gyms, and the Coffee bar.

Coffee sounded really good. Had Jarvis been able to give him more info Bucky would have stopped for a mocha. A mocha would have made the trip down so much more enjoyable.

Bucky’s thoughts of coffee came to a stuttering halt though when he turned into Steve’s room. Dimly he was aware of Stark sitting by the bed, tapping away at something on his tablet, Natasha stood in the corner looking bored but alert, and Bruce standing by the bed fiddling with all manner of machinery; only some of which did Bucky recognize.

No, what grabbed Bucky’s focus was the figure in the bed. It was unmistakably Steve but it was not the mountainous Super soldier that he was used to seeing. Instead it was a version that was somehow both _more_ familiar and more alien.

The Steve Roger’s that was giving him a wane smile from the hospital bed was the one he hadn’t seen in person since 1943.

“Stevie,” The nickname as well as the soft tone his voice took on was familiar and instinctual and Bucky had no fucking clue where it came from, “What did you get yourself into now?”

Before Steve could answer Natasha let out an inelegant and uncharacteristic snort of laughter.

“Sorry,” she replied as everyone turned to look at her, “I just had visions of that phrase being used hundreds of times the first time Steve was like this.” Natasha explained as she gathered herself.

Steve was doing his best to give Natasha the patented Cap Glare but Bucky suspected it wasn’t going to have the same effect as before.

“Oh my god, it’s like getting stared down by a Chihuahua.” Stark suddenly piped up, tablet forgotten, as he stared at Steve. Bucky watched as Steve turned the glare on Stark, which only served to cause the latter to burst out laughing.

A loud beeping brought Bucky around to focus on one of the machines Bruce had been occupied with on his entrance. Bucky recognized this one as a vitals monitor, the red line of Steve’s heartbeat had become erratic.

“If you guys cause him to have a heart attack I’m going to let the Big Guy out.” Bruce spoke up as he examined the monitors.

“That’s his Arrhythmia.” Bucky spoke without at thought as Steve said, “That’s just my Arrhythmia.” Stark immediately stopped laughing and Bucky looked down to find Steve looking at him with a smile.

“You remember that Buck?” Steve asked with the wistful tone he always had when Bucky came out with a memory from the past.

“I…I guess. Arrhythmia, asthma, and…pernicious anemia?” The list of ailments were more like echoes in his head rather than actual memories. That didn’t bother him so much. He had a lot of echoes these. What _did_ bother him was the realization that those three were just the tip of the iceberg. He just couldn’t remember them all.

“That’s right Buck, those and about a dozen other issues. Give or take.” Steve no longer sounded wistful, instead he was obviously annoyed.

“How did this happen?” Bucky asked once he managed to get his voice back.

“We’re not entirely sure. I mean we know what caused it but we don’t know _how_ it happened. We’re working on it. I’m doing this and Thor is back on Asgard looking into it.” Tony rambled at him as he waved his tablet around.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Bucky grit out, annoyance and anxiety was starting to gnaw at the back of his mind and he didn’t need to hear the delicate clinks and clicks to know that the mechanisms in his arm were gearing up. A strong grip on his metal hand, pressure being the only thing the arm could feel, had him looking away from Stark and back at Steve. Even without the serum Steve had always had one hell of a grip. He couldn’t punch for shit but he could have choked a man out if his hands had been a bit bigger.

“Pull up a seat Bucky and I’ll tell you what happened.” Steve nodded at one of the cushy chairs behind him as he spoke. Reluctantly he pulled his hand free of Steve’s grip and pulled the chair right up to the bedside.

“All our Intel said it was just an old SHIELD bunker being used as a Hydra Intel and regrouping station. There were a couple dozen guys with guns and a few techs and other scientists. We either put down or incapacitated the guards and then the rest came without much protest.

“Then we started the mopping up. Going through the computers and gathering up the weapons and equipment. Everything was normal. Until it wasn’t. While Tony, Nat, and Clint were working on the main area Thor and I looked around. We found what looked like a weapons lab. We went in, and didn’t even touch anything. Next thing I know there is this huge flash of light and I’m waking up like this in the jet.” Steve explained with a wave at his pre-serum body. Before Bucky could ask, again, what had happened Tony piped up and held up his tablet.

“Somehow they tripped this.” Tony motioned to the picture on his tablet. It was vaguely rifle shaped but the stock was open and the barrel, instead of ending in a standard muzzle, had some sort of apparatus that looked like a yellow lensed flashlight wearing a fanged and horned helmet.

“What the hell is it?” Bucky asked, making Tony shrug.

“Some sort of energy weapon. There were two of them in the lab. One of them was busted, the other was obviously operational. We think they were trying to use it as a blue print to repair the other one. Thor said it looked vaguely familiar so he took it back to Asgard to have it looked at. I got in depth scans on it though and brought back the busted one. Me and Bruce are gonna work on it.” Tony told him, sitting back in his chair and turning his attention back to the tablet.

“So what, you got hit by this thing and it took the serum out of you? What are you gonna do Stevie? It’s not like we got a supply of it sitting around.” Bucky asked as he looked his friend up and down. Modern medicine was a hell of a thing but Bucky knew, even if he didn’t remember, that there was a lot wrong with Steve.

“Actually the serum isn’t gone. It’s just…dormant. Turned off. We just…we don’t know how.” Bruce handed Bucky a tablet filled with all kinds of crap that Bucky didn’t understand. Bucky glanced at it before handing it back and turning his attention to Steve.

“We’ve got the best minds on two planets working on the problem. I’m going to be fine Buck.” Steve gave him a smile and Bucky wondered why he didn’t feel better.

***

Steve was not _fine_. Yes he was alive and was as healthy as he could be given his laundry list of ailments. But for someone the size of a legume he was a giant pain in Bucky’s ass.

He spent two days in the medical bay before sneaking out in the middle of the night dressed only in one of the plush robes that came with the rooms.

Bucky had been in their kitchen on said night and had been tempted to throw Steve over his shoulder and carry him straight back to the med bay. However that was before he realized Steve was barefoot and his pale toes were already going pink from the cold. Instead Bucky had dragged him to his bedroom and piled him under the blanket before going to make him some of the sleepy-time tea Steve was so fond of.

That had been a week ago and just the start of Steve’s pain-in-the-assery. For the first two days he had insisted on wearing his regular clothing, which resulted in Steve wandering around the apartment and Common room in pants cinched tight with a belt, new holes poked in it to make it small enough, and the legs rolled up several times. The plaid shirts weren’t too bad, even with the cuffs rolled up numerous times, but the t-shirts had a tendency to slip and expose pale collar bones that Bucky found himself having trouble looking away from. Thankfully Bucky was rescued from that bit of awkwardness on the third morning after Steve’s hospital break-out by a large box of clothing at the door of their apartment.

Steve had groused about the expense of buying new clothes for a temporary situation but the discovery of a hand written note from Pepper, stating that everything could be donated when Steve was back to normal, had shut him up. The boxes five pairs of the khaki pants Steve inexplicably loved and two pairs of thick sweat pants, five each of t-shirts and long sleeve Henley’s in assorted colors, three plaid flannels, six pairs of warm looking woolen socks, a pair of boots and a pair of tennis shoes as well as a pair of house slippers meant that Steve could go about without looking like a little boy wearing his papa’s clothes. Bucky had made Pepper a batch of her favorite oatmeal raisin cookies as a thank you.

Clothing aside though Steve still found ways to make life difficult. He complained about the vitamins and supplements he had been prescribed to manage his various ailments. Including the B-12 injection he only had to take a few times a week. It wasn’t even done with needles, instead it was some sort of high powered and painless air injection. He absolutely hated the insoles for his flat feet and outright _refused_ to allow an eye exam so he was constantly squinting at everything and holding items at arm’s length to read them.

Bucky could understand, didn’t need all of his memories back to know that Steve _hated_ being molly-coddled, he always had. Now being back to where he needed it after years of being the indestructible Captain America was likely humiliating. Bucky was sure it also brought back memories from his time before the serum. Seeing shrunk-down Steve certainly brought back memories for _him_. Some of them were good but most were of Steve ill or on deaths door.

The onslaught of new, largely unpleasant memories, compounded with convincing Steve to take his medications, wear his vitals monitor, (it was the size of wrist watch for fuck sake), and stay IN the Tower, (that one Steve had agreed to pretty quickly), had ratcheted up Bucky’s stress levels higher than they had been in months.

***

“Come on Buck, it’s just a work out. What the worst that could happen?” Bucky had to resist the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose and instead just stared down at Steve.

“Steve…you got wheezy carrying the laundry basket to your bedroom.” Bucky replied calmly, making Steve glare.

“Buck…I can’t just sit here. It’s been almost two weeks and I’ve barely left the apartment. I already agreed to not leave the Tower but I need to do something.” Steve was starting to go red, which meant he was mad, which could trigger an asthma attack. Bucky wasn’t prepared for this.

“Then go up to the common room and play video games with Clint, or down to Tony’s lab and help him with the damn gun. Or hell go see what Natasha is doing, if you can find her, but don’t go off and do something that is gonna screw with your health!” Bucky knew he was getting loud but Steve’s complete disregard for his own health and safety was killing him.

The need to protect Steve, even from himself, was ingrained marrow deep in Bucky. It was what broke him out of his programing back on the Helicarrier.

“I can’t just sit around doing nothing for the rest of my life Bucky!” Steve all but shouted at him.

“I’m not asking you to Stevie. I’m asking you to take a break until a strong wind won’t blow you over!” Bucky replied before clapping a hand over his mouth. He hadn’t meant to shout.

Steve though didn’t look angry, at least not at him.

“What…what if that doesn’t happen Buck? What if I’m stuck like this? It’s been weeks and we haven’t heard from Thor and Tony’s no closer to figuring it out even with Bruce’s help.” Steve’s tone was dejected and Bucky broke a little inside.

Well broke a little _more_.

Bucky rested both hands on Steve’s shoulders, Steve winced a bit and Bucky adjusted his grip. He was still adapting to the fact that Steve was more delicate now.

“Stevie that isn’t going to happen. Tony is a royal pain in the ass, and don’t you dare tell him I said this, but he’s a genius and unrelenting to boot. With Bruce on his side they WILL figure it out. It might take some time but they’ll get it and you’ll be back to Captain America in no time.” Bucky wasn’t used to being the reassuring one, that one had been filled by Steve since he brought him back from Bucharest, but it was a nice feeling. Familiar.

Steve rested his hands on his wrists and gave him a small smile.

“If all else fails maybe I can talk Tony into making me a suit. Captain Iron or Iron America, what do you think?” Steve actually brightened up at his own idea.

Bucky spun Steve around and tucked him into his side before making their way into the kitchen. Bucky had found that he was pretty good at cooking and baking. Steve was kind of terrible but he made a half-way decent assistant.

“I dunno Rogers, you’re kinda shrimpy. Maybe something more like Iron Boy or Iron Lad.” Bucky offered before recoiling as Steve dug his elbow into his side.

Screw armor, his tiny elbows were like knives.

***

Bucky turned off the burner and moved the pot off the stove just as the broth was beginning to boil. He wanted it to be warm but not so hot that Steve couldn’t sip it. Bucky just hoped that he could keep it down. Despite all the precautions, the vitamins and supplements, and his own nutrient rich meals and Steve’s light-calisthenics routine, Steve was sick. It wasn’t the flu, or worse bronchitis, but some sort of virus that had been making its rounds through the Avengers Tower employees. Bucky figured he probably picked it up on one of their visits to the Coffee Bar.

In someone with a normal, healthy, immune system it only lasted roughly forty-eight hours max. Steve was going on sixty with no end in sight. One bright spot was his fever seemed to be holding steady at a hundred and two point five. However Steve had lost the ability to hold down anything solid about twelve hours ago and Bucky was at the end of his rope.

Steve being sick had unleashed a flood of memories from their shared past. Memories of whole weeks spent wondering if this was the cold or flu that would take Steve away from him, dreading when the weather started to get colder only to also dread the onset of spring when pollen was thick.

The only reason Steve wasn’t down in the med bay was because he had made Bucky promise that he wouldn’t take him there. No matter how nice the staff was or how nicely it was decorated it was _still_ a hospital and Steve hated few things more than hospitals. Promise or no promise though if Steve’s fever spiked again Bucky was taking him down to the med-bay. He knew anti-biotics wouldn’t work but they could at least give him IV medications to help with the symptoms.

A dry, lung ripping cough jerked Bucky out of his musing. He filled a mug with the broth and then poured some into a shot glass, mixing the crushed acetaminophen and vitamins in with the warm liquid until it dissolved. Bucky put the broth onto a serving tray along with a dose of Steve’s cough medicine and a mug of tea, that Bucky may or may not have added a shot of whiskey to.

“Here you go Steve. Broth, two shots of meds, and a mug of tea. Let’s take it slow so you keep it down.” Bucky spoke quietly as he pushed into Steve’s bedroom. The lights were low but Bucky could see that Steve was still fever-pale save for the irritated pink of his nose.

“Thanks Buck.” Steve’s voice was an abused and weak rasp that made Bucky’s chest clench. It only clenched tighter as he watched Steve shakily move to sit up against his headboard. Even with being under two blankets and swaddled in a thick robe over his t-shirt and lounge pants Steve still complained of being cold. Bucky knew that it was the fever but it didn’t help with the memories of Steve half freezing in the winters back in Brooklyn.

Once Steve was settled Bucky opened the legs on the tray and set it across Steve’s lap.

“Here, cough syrup first, then they pill shot. If you keep those down we’ll start the broth.” Bucky pushed the plastic cup of livid red medicine toward Steve as he spoke. Obediently, which was the true hallmark of how shitty Steve felt, he threw back the medicine with a grimace at the taste before drinking down the pill-shot chaser. Per their routine they waited about five minutes before Steve picked up the broth and started sipping at it. Usually if Steve was gonna up-chuck he did it after the meds.

“It tastes different.” Steve rasped between sips.

“Yea, I boiled some veggies in it and cut it with some fancy mineral water Pepper sent up. Thought it might give it a boost. If you don’t like it I can go make more.” Bucky was halfway out of his chair before Steve waved him to sit back down.

“No, no it’s good. Robust and chickeny. I like it.” Steve gave him a small smile before succumbing to a coughing fit. Bucky managed to grab the mug before Steve dropped it.

“So much for extra-strength cough syrup.” Steve complained once the fit was over.

“It’ll help, just hasn’t got where it needs to be yet.” Bucky replied and Steve gave a weak chuckle.

“Just like old times Buck. Me sick and you taking care of me. Well almost like old times.” Steve gave him another weak smile before taking up the broth again. Something about Steve’s words though prickled at Bucky’s mind. Before he could give it too much thought Steve was speaking again.

“Any new updates?” He asked between sips at his broth. It was nearing the month mark since Steve had been de-serumed and each day Bucky could tell Steve was getting a little more hopeless.

“Some yea. Tony called up earlier and said that he and Bruce had figured out the weapon’s power source problem. He was able to use his Arc technology to fix that portion. But he said the weapon apparatus is still shorting out. He said as soon as he works that out he’ll be able to start tests.” Bucky replied, hoping that it would make Steve feel a little better.

“That’s something at least.” Steve replied, sitting aside the empty broth mug before taking up the now lukewarm tea.

“I added a little something extra, hoping that with the cough syrup it might help you sleep.” Bucky nodded at the mug and Steve shook his head with a grin.

“This isn’t the forties Buck, not supposed to mix booze with medicine” Steve told him but still sipped from the mug.

“It was just a splash Stevie. Even your skinny ass will be ok.” Steve glared at him over the rim of his mug and Bucky had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

“I’m Irish you ass. I seem to remember drinking you under the table several times in our misspent youth.” Steve grumbled out. The words made Bucky’s heart pound and his blood rush before his brain engaged and he recognized the euphemism.

“I don’t remember that,” Bucky said quietly, “Maybe once you’re better you can tell me about some of them. And maybe show off.”

“I’ll tell you all about anything and everything you wanna know Buck.” Steve’s voice was still raspy but very sincere.

They lapsed into an easy silence after that. Steve with his tea and Bucky with his phone, looking up recipes he could use for Steve. The internet really was an amazing thing. If not a little overwhelming at times.

Bucky kept an eye on Steve during his research and when the latter began to doze off, empty mug dangling precariously in his hand, he once more intervened. Setting the mug on the tray and moving it over to stand on the dresser. While he was at it he grabbed the temporal thermometer and checked Steve’s temp.

“Down two-tenths of a degree Roger’s. You’ll have this licked in no time.” Bucky spoke quietly, more to himself than to Steve.

Steve gave an inarticulate reply before shimmying back down in the bed. Bucky helped him rearrange the blankets and robe so they didn’t bunch uncomfortably.

“‘Member back in da day Buck,” Steve’s words were a bit slurred. Maybe he had used more booze than he thought, “When I’d end up get sick or cold and you’d insist on getting under the covers with me? Used to get both our Ma's so mad atcha.” Steve got settled and rolled onto his side, back to him. Bucky _did_ remember those days. Besides being part and parcel to Sick-Steve, memories of bed sharing with Steve were some his first memories of his old life to come back.

Bucky was no brain scientist, nor was he gonna allow one to go poking around in his head any time soon, but he was pretty sure that meant they were important memories to him. He certainly liked thinking about them now.

“That was always nice. Always felt better with you there. Sucks that you don’t like touching me now. At least not when I’m like this.” Steve’s words were a sleepy, slightly drunken mumble but they hit Bucky like an ice bath.

Bucky was intimately familiar with ice baths. They were not pleasant. Steve’s raspy breathing evened out into sleep and Bucky sat back in his chair and watched him. As usual Steve was both right and wrong. Bucky _didn’t_ like touching him right now. But _not_ because he was back to being skinny-Steve, because Bucky was terrified of hurting him. The first day Steve had expressed worry about being stuck without his serum, the last time Bucky had touched him in more than a glancing way, he had left livid bruises on Steve. Large swaths of purple and black had covered his collarbones and shoulders and even now, two weeks later, they were not fully healed; still a mottled green and yellow.

Bucky _did_ want to touch Steve though. Had since Steve, Nat, and Sam had brought him back to the tower. His memories were still spotty but he didn’t have any of him and Steve having a romantic relationship, despite having a very physical one. But Bucky _did_ clearly remember wanting one. Even now he wouldn’t be opposed to it. Someday, when he was more put together.

Until then though Bucky could give Steve some of the comfort that he wanted. He just had to be careful. He could do that. Probably. Bucky kicked off his house shoes and slid under the blankets, shimmying up behind Steve till they were flush. He wrapped his metal arm carefully around Steve’s waist and tried to relax.

“Buck…wha you doing?” At least he was pretty sure that was what Steve said.

“Don’t worry about it Stevie. We’ll talk about it when you’re better. If you remember. Just…just sleep.” Bucky told him before nosing into Steve’s sweaty hair.

“K, Buck.” Steve linked his fingers between Bucky’s metal ones and pulled his arm from around his waist and up to his chest. Not for the first time Bucky wished that the metal had actual feeling. Still, the pressure from Steve’s grip was nice.

***

Bucky watched Steve as he moved slowly around the kitchen. He wasn’t one-hundred-percent better yet but was well enough to not need constant bed rest. Since he was up on his feet he insisted on making his own tea. Since the first day he slipped into bed behind Steve he had made it a point to be more physical with him. Small and careful touches, a hand on his shoulder or sitting closer when they watched TV together. Until a few nights ago, when Steve’s cough finally subsided, he was also regularly laying down with him. Steve seemed a lot more at ease around him but they hadn’t talked about it. Steve hadn’t mentioned it at all since that first day.

Strange as it was though Bucky found that he wanted to talk about it. He wanted to tell Steve the reason for his physical distance. Tell him that he didn’t mind the touching and the contact. When he thought about it he realized that, even before the weapons accident, that Steve had also seemed hesitant to initiate contact. Maybe it wasn’t just _him_ that was still trying to figure out the interpersonal boundaries of the future.

One thing Buck did know, without a doubt, was that they both had enjoyed the increased contact of the last week and a half. Steve smiled more and his eyes didn’t look as tight. Bucky found that his own mental static and echoes had calmed, letting him think better and breathe easier. Overall they both seemed calmer and more relaxed. He couldn’t swear that it was all from their increased touch but Bucky was certain that it was a factor. So once Steve had his water on to boil and his tea and tea strainer ready Bucky, relying on memories of his forties go getter days, walked into the kitchen and scooped Steve up.

“Bucky what the hell?!” Steve all but shouted at him as he was sat down on the counter.

To answer him though Bucky just stepped between the V of Steve’s legs and wrapped his arms around him in a hug, letting his chin rest on his shoulder.

“I like this. Touching and being close to you. I didn’t stop because you got small again. I stopped ‘cause I was afraid of hurting you.” Bucky spoke quiet but quickly. Words were still difficult sometimes but this was something that needed said.

Steve mirrored him, arms around him and chin on shoulder. They stayed like that for a little bit before Steve spoke up.

“I Like this too Buck. I always have. Even…even back in the day. Things are so damn different nowadays. Seems like fellas can’t touch and be close like we used to be able to. Not without people getting stupid about it for one reason or another. As to hurting me…Buck you wouldn’t hurt me. Not anymore.” Steve held on tighter as he spoke. Bucky squeezed him back for just a moment before pulling back just enough to tug aside Steve’s loose collar.

“I did hurt you Stevie. Sure I didn’t mean to but I did. Hell you’re just now starting to look normal again.” Bucky poked gently at the, finally, nearly healed bruises.

“Couple of bruises, that’s why you were acting like that?” Steve’s tone was very familiar. It was his ‘you are a dumbass’ tone. Bucky was pretty sure he had heard that a lot back in the day.

“A couple of bruises when I didn’t even mean to Stevie, hell I was just a bit heavy handed. With you without the serum and me with it, even if it isn't as good as the original, it’s to easy for me to hurt you. So yes I freaked out.” Bucky wanted to whack Steve because now the little shit was _smiling_ at him.

“Bucky…you dumbass. That wasn’t _you_. Or at least not all you. That’s the anemia Buck. A stiff _wind_ could give me a bruise. You used to give me bruises all the time before. I mean you didn’t mean to, well not all the time, but that’s just how it is.” Steve was still smiling at him and Bucky felt some of the guilt he’d been carrying around in his chest unclench. Bucky found it hard to believe that he would purposefully put bruises on Steve but he supposed his sense of humor was probably different back then.

“So we can keep this up? Even after I get back to normal?” Steve asked him and Bucky could argue that this was normal for him, technically, but the insecurity in his voice made him think better.

“Yea Stevie, we can keep this up. Even after.” Bucky replied, leaning back into the hug.

***

“No. Just no. Absolutely not. One shot with that thing de-powered the serum and now you want him to get shot by it again?” Bucky just threw his hands up in exasperation when Bruce, Tony, and Thor all replied in the affirmative.

“James, I promise you, I have enlisted the best that Asgard have to offer. I took all of Steven’s medical information with me as well. They assure me they have modified the weapon in such a way that it will undo its previous damage. The weapon works by de-powering genetic augmentation. With its energy polarity reversed it will re-power said augmentation. In this case Steven’s serum.” Thor explained as he hefted the weapon he had taken with him to Asgard.

“And what if they’re wrong? You said it yourself this is the first time this weapon has been seen in a thousand years.” Bucky replied stubbornly. He knew how badly Steve wanted to be back to normal but this was too much.

“What if we tested it first? Shot a sample of my blood and see if it fixes it?” Steve offered and Bucky could have wept tears of relief, for once Steve wasn’t going to run head first into danger.

“That, Mon Capitaine, is a wonderful idea,” Tony said happily as he pulled a vial of blood from his pocket, “Point break give it a go.” Tony sat the vial down and retreated a safe distance away. Bucky, Bruce and Steve all followed suit.

Thor flicked a switch on the gun, took aim, and fired a bolt of purple light. To Bucky’s surprise nothing was damaged, not even the vial; which glowed a faint lavender before returning to its normal appearance. Bruce was the first to reach the table. He put a drop of the blood into a microscope slide and checked it before looking up with a smile.

“It’s identical to Steve’s post serum cells.”

Bucky knew by the looks on all four of their faces that anymore protests would fall on deaf ears. So before Steve could put himself in the cross hairs, literally, Bucky reeled him in and pressed a hard kiss to Steve’s lips. In Tony’s lab with three onlookers was not his first choice of places for his and Steve’s first kiss, and the past month of couch and bed cuddles had left him with a lot of ideas, but he felt the need to give Steve some extra incentive.

“If you die, that’s what you’re missing out on.” Bucky told him when he pulled away. Steve looked a little dazed but nodded.

“Soooo, how long has that been happening?” Tony asked as Steve moved to the center of the room.

“Shut up Tony.” Bruce told him before Bucky could.

“Ok Thor. Let’s get this over with.” Steve told them and Bucky forced himself to watch as Thor lifted the gun, took aim, and pulled the trigger. Unlike with the vial when the beam hit Steve it lit up the whole room in a purple light. Bucky tried to keep an eye on Steve but the blinding light forced him to close his eyes.

“My eyes, _my_ _eyes_!” Tony’s shout a moment later forced Bucky to open his eyes. A look at Tony told him the man was covering his eyes with his arm. Bruce, who was standing next to him, had his eyes squeezed shut and was looking at the ceiling and Thor, eyes wide open was looking at Steve.

STEVE!

Bucky’s eyes snapped to his friend and immediately discovered why Tony and Bruce were averting their gaze. Steve was kneeling with his eyes closed in the middle of the room, back to being the size of a barn, and naked as the day he was born save for the scraps of fabric hanging off him. In a heartbeat Bucky was kneeling in front of Steve, partially to preserve his friend’s modesty and partly to check on him.

“Steve are you ok?” It was a dumb question, Steve was obviously fine, but Bucky needed to be sure. Steve took a deep breath before opening his eyes and smiling at him.

“I am more than fine Buck,” Steve put his arms around his neck and pulled him in until their foreheads were touching, “I believe you said something about kisses if I survived.”

Bucky brought their lips together again and even with three pairs of eyes on them and Tony squawking about his lab being sullied it was a little bit before they moved.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is likely to be expanded later. I would really like to explore more of Bucky's memories and recovery as well as write some stuff from Steve's POV.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr at https://mcdannoangelwolf.tumblr.com/


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